All alone

A Fanfiction by Foxpaw.

Enjoy and comment!

(NOTE: Please don't edit without permission; it prevents edit conflicts and multiple reverts).



prelude
I pick my way through the fern fronds that brush through my pelt softly as I look up to the sky. The stars twinkle brightly towards me and my dark cream-brown pelt shines bright as light pours over my pelt.

I shouldn't be here.

My clanmates will wonder where I am. Have they noticed my absence already? I highly doubt it, it's midnight; they'll be snoring away in bliss. I can't help but feel a sense of adventure. Perhaps I'll catch a fish or two...the kits and elders are asleep so they cannot possibly be hungry.

I manage to tear past Mackereltail who has fallen asleep. Silly Mackereltail. After I get a good distance away from the entrance, I began running and running, faster and faster. Away from the Warrior code that restricts my life, forcing me to live a life with my eyes closed.

I. Am. Free.

I stop at a large expanse of water- Wishwillow Pond. I release an imperceptible sigh. Then I jump in and swim, swim to my delight, to my glee; I may have scared all the salmon. I am instantly comforted as the cool water surrounds my body and I sink down, the pond almost engulfing me. I feel like a dove soaring high away from it's flock's reach - at peace.

After a while of wading and splashing, I pull myself out, shoving the tendrils of temptation mixed with disappointment away. I begin licking my pelt the opposite way to dry.

After my fur is mostly dry, I see the moon ever so slightly sinking down; I must go back to RiverClan. I hear a slightly faint echo and look up, squinting my eyes to see a dark ginger tom on the other side, taking a drink at the edge of the pond on his side - the ThunderClan border. Who is he? What's his name? His dark ginger fur is smooth and as he looks up, I catch a glimpse of dark emerald eyes, with a luster to them....then they meet my amber ones. For one second, I believe my heart stops. Then I turn, and pad away hesitantly.

And once I leave the Wishwillow pond, I began running, faster than I did coming here.

prospect
"ThunderClan, surround for patrols!," Firebird yowls. I pad next to Stoneleap, my brother and we gather around Firebird for patrols. She finally gets to us. "Stoneleap, you may lead a patrol. Take Spottedwing, Emberflame, and Mousetail with you to the RiverClan border."

Mousetail and Spottedwing join us, prodding each other playfully giggling in that irritating, she-cattish way that drives me nuts. "Come on." Stoneleap orders.

I cannot help but think of that she-cat I saw last night at the RiverClan border at the pond. I remember her staring at me, and my breath caught. She had dark-cream-colored mottles and endless amber eyes.

I have not met her. Ever.

Will I see her again?

"Emberflame!," Stoneleap cuffs me over the ear. "You gotta pay attention if you ever wanna become deputy one day."

"Huh?"

My brother rolls his eyes. "I said how about we split up; you'll be hunting near the WindClan border."

"Okay," I head off quickly to the border, my head swirling with thoughts. What if I caught a WindClan patrol? What if...my mother was there? Long ago, Dawnfall, mother to Stoneleap and I, decided ThunderClan life was not fit for her, so she left to WindClan. Left us. And my father, Ripplepelt was devastated to find out she had taken a new mate, Breezeclaw. I was devastated to find out she had new kits some time ago, now Beetlepaw and Thrushpaw. I made sure to never encounter them.

I might today.

picturesque
Today, Pikestar assigned me on a patrol with Rosepool, Tarponfin, and Waterlily to ask WindClan for a few lungworts as herbs for the sick elders. A few caught some yellowcough, and are now locked safely in an elderbush which every cat besides Junipertail -the medicine cat- may go in.

We have crossed the moory border and it is not long before we scent a patrol. "Wait silently," Tarponfin hissed. "and look as calm as you can." I nod silently, gazing at my former crush's peaceful, yet determined expression as two WindClan cats stepped out into the clearing, reminding me of why I had fallen in love with him in the first place. But Dapplefoot had won his heart first.

"So," One tom with black and white patched fur, similar to Tarponfin's pelt says. "What do we have here? Why does RiverClan suddenly assume they may cross any border as they prefer?" There is a note of challenge in his deep meow.

"By no means," Rosepool lifts her chin. "We only want to speak with your medicine cat."

"What do you want with Addernose?" The apprentice's fluffy black tail bristled. "I don't see your medicine cat with you."

"My apprentice is right," the mentor says. "So we need to take you to Gorsestar at once."

"Will your medicine cat be at camp?" Waterlily questions and the apprentice shoots her another glare. "Yes," She answers anyway.

This is actually quite vivid. I always stereotyped WindClan territory as a pile of weeds, twigs, and dirt that those cats rolled in (my bad), but this is actually quite stunning. Not as picturesque as RiverClan marshes and reeds but the tall, broad hills, sun-kissed are actually splendid. I smell the fresh heather-filled air and I feel a sudden excitement in my tendons, urging me to run. Is this how WindClan members feel?

I force myself calm and wait for Addernose. Gorsestar has allowed us to wait outside the leader's den until he came. Oh! Here he is.

"Welcome back, Addernose," Stormflight, the warrior who brought us here with his apprentice Thrushpaw nods to us. "you have got visitors."

Addernose's smile is friendly. His mottled brown and black pelt is smooth and he shoots us a sunny smile. "Meet me in my den." Two warrior escorts arrive but he dismisses them with a flick of his tail. We walk inside the den and he stares at us. "State your request."

I begin explaining how 5 elders caught yellow-cough, our plans to keep the illness from spreading, and our need of lungwort.

"Hmm," The mottled medicine cat considers thoughtfully. "Sorry, I do not have it in my stock." Our shoulders droop but he continues. "However, I spotted some at the ThunderClan border. We can go now."

Addernose quickly consults Gorsestar and we leave with the escorts this time. Ugh.

We've gone to the edge of the border. Tarponfin stiffens. "Do I...smell ThunderClan?" Oh dear.

Addernose stiffens too, and Waterlily and I stop picking lungwort to gaze up in fear. The escorts, Dawnfall and Silverbird are anxious too, especially Dawnfall though I don't know why. Rosepool peeks through the bushes and turns back, whispering: "It's a tom."

More or less, we head straight for it. This may not be my territory, yet I still feel an urge to defend it. As we approach the ThunderClan cat, our lips curled, my sneer immediately vanishes the moment my gaze fixes on the intruder. And my heart settles on one emotion: Recognition.

tête-à-tête
I freeze. My brain tells me that the other WindClan cats are mirages because the only cat I focus on is a creamy brown she cat: my mother. She looks down at her paws immediately, no shame in her eyes. I tear my gaze away from hers and find there is another cat here I recognize. That RiverClan cat I saw last night when I was going for a drink. What is she doing in WindClan? She looks at me with the same recognition, same amber eyes, and the connection is cut off as a voice breaks through.

"What brings you to the border, warrior?" The WindClan medicine cat asks me.

I lift my chin. "Simply on a hunting patrol. I was assigned to hunt here."

"Oh," The Medicine cat nods. "We'll leave you to that then."

"But make sure not to cross the border accidentally." Dawnfall warns and instead of hearing hostility, I hear motherly affection, like back when I was an early apprentice out hunting with my family. But not anymore, thanks to her. I shoot her a sharp glare and she turns away.

Silverbird barks a laugh. "That's enough scolding your former son, Dawnfall," The words former son stab my heart; is that what she calls me to her new Clan? Former son? "Let's get the RiverClan patrol their herbs."

The cats pad away, but it is not Dawnfall who looks back at me. It is that RiverClan cat. She holds my gaze a second before disappearing.

I come back to my patrol, a rabbit and a shrew in my jaws. Stoneleap senses my vexation. "Everything okay, Emberflame?"

"Yeah," I mutter dropping my catch in the center. "Guess who was on a WindClan patrol?"

My brother stiffens. "You guys can go back with your prey." He waves off the rest of our patrol and signals me to come to the bushes. "She was actually there?" He whispers.

"Yeah! You know what she said to me? Make sure not to accidentally cross the border," I hiss. "As if she cares!"

Stoneleap hesitates and looks away. "Emberflame, I-"

"What?"

My brother looks back at me and takes a deep breath. "She still loves you, y'know?"

"If she loves me," I tear up grass with my paws. "then why did she leave me?"

"Sometimes when you love someone, you gotta let them go." Stoneleap insists. "Plus, ThunderClan was never her place. She wants to live in WindClan. Why can't you be happy for her?"

"Is it so easy?," I burst. "To just accept a cat you know well to leave and start a new family so hastily!"

"Emberflame," Stoneleap sighs. "Dawnfall knew Breezeclaw even before we were born."

I stop tearing the grass, and face my brother. "What?"

"Um," He shifts on his paws awkwardly. "It's true. I saw them meeting when I was an apprentice. I told Goldheart, mother's sister and she said she always knew. They'd been meeting moons ago. Father loved Mother and she didn't want to break his heart so she led a fake relationship."

Silence.

"How could you hide something like that from me?!"

The gray tom flinches. "I'm sorry, okay! I didn't want to upset you and I knew I had to tell you sometime, and-" He catches his breath. "I'm sorry."

"I know," I lick my paw, drawing it over my flame-pelted back. "It's okay." But it really hurts. Mother had been having an affair, leading a fake relationship. As we head back to camp, I cannot help but wonder: Did Mother ever love us?

assembly
Tonight is the Gathering. I think about what I would do if I was chosen; I'm walking around camp as I have these thoughts. Immediately, I go on a tangent as I notice the medicine den. Have Rosepool's kits healed from the lungwort? Should I check?